it's the moment of....whadamadapakinsyet?!

chanced upon Oprah on the Hallmark channel today, and today's episode was about the controversial "A New Earth" book. It got controversial because several groups thought that Oprah was espousing, if not building her own religion (well, think about it, the Church of Oprah actually sounds nice--you've got makeovers, book clubs, and free gifts under the church pews!!) She was actually very careful to emphasize that this wasnt a new religion but merely a mindset, a paradigm.

The New Earth philosophy was that one has to be in the moment, to truly understad what is in the present and only that. no thoughts of what the past was or what the future will be. there is even no 'doing this today to get something for tomorrow' thought. the now is simply the now.

I generally get into this thought at times when i realize im really out of bullets to hit the world with, but its more out of resignation and acceptance than anythng else. but it's true what they had said about it. it releases a lot of tension and anxiety. simply because there is nothing but the very moment. although sometimes, life can bring you things that are too in the moment, in your face.

moment 1:
was at the mall with hubby. this was our date night, so we were particularly sweet and nice. we would even check out other guys. and then there was this guy and his friend who kept looking and making eye contact with me. and they would even follow us and stare. Now, i'm not exactly the most loyal partner, hell my name would definitely be at the bottom of the list, but for cryin' out loud! even i would not dare do anything when hubby's around. besides, it's our night--its US, thats why we ogle the men TOGETHER. as other men can attest, youll have your time and way with me, but not on hubby's watch.

moment 2:
at the gym sauna. admittedly, i was hoping (take note, HOPING, not looking) for action. and by the looks of the guys at the sauna, shower and/or dressing room, the gay church isnt answering prayers as of the moment. so there was i in the sauna with two other guys. and then he came in....a chubby guy who was pretty wanting (not looking, but WANTING) action. now, generally, i dont really care, and i just look away when someone not my type is wanting attention; and i truly, deeply respect their cravings for meat--but this guy was something. he was chubby, and not in a cute way. he had folds of fat in his belly. he had a flat chest that you could tell had man-boobs before. the clincher: he was doing his best impression of 'fat bastard' from 'austin powers.' he was rubbing his body all over, fidgetting with his towel, touching his privates--anything to get some chublovin. now, before i get hate mail from chubby men and their lovers, i dont mean to offend chubs--hell i was once a chub, and is genetically predisposed to be one--but when one acts like a fat bastard, then you should expect to be treated like fat bastard. and thus ended all hope for any action that night.


the other thing that Oprah keeps on pointing out on the program is that the New Earth Philosophy only clicks when you are ready for it. otherwise, it wil just sound like a New Age gibberish--how's that for a waiver?

generally, i admit ive felt a lot of stress release when i begin to be in the moment. there's truth when she says that anxiety doesn't exist when you live, and live only in the moment--no blames and guilt from the past, nor anxieties or insecurities from the future, not even thoughts of "the present dictating the future.' it calms me and strips me of my ego and just lets me do my best. because at that moment, that's all there is of me--my best.

there is something so eloquent about what life tells you when only the NOW exist. it's a pristine, calm and clean statement of who you are. then again, with moments ive just had, life acn belt out a mean and jologs expletive as well.