a roomful of surprises

was recently invited by an FB to an orgy he was organizing. i wasnt really up to it, and wasnt really feeling good about it. it didnt help that FB (let's call him Clark) sounded too horny--as in desperately-i-swear-i'm-so-horny-i'll-even-fuck-a-girl kind of too horny; and nothing, NOTHING comes out right of desperation.

Clark used every trick in the book to organize this. Fortunately, he was able to convince Henry, another FB, to use his pad for the orgy. Clark said that he had invited some hot tops to the party, especially the one i couldnt say no to. I had my doubts, but since i had nothing better to do, I went to the party.

When i got there, it seems Henry's room was only good for four guys. Clark, Henry, me plus one other guy, let's call him August. Well, doubts confirmed. Henry even started to complain that this wasnt what he had in mind and maybe he was better off sleeping, and reserving energy for the next day. But since we were already there, we went to work.

I started to suck Henry, knowing that he was a little miffed with the situation. maybe a little oral action can cool him down. Clark started to suck August. The usual romp happened, until I got to suck August. He was pretty endowed--long and thick. at one point I even gagged. i kept sucking him and then i moved down. i first started to flick his hole with my tongue, trying to coax him to open more. he did, and thats when i got my surprise. August had a smooth butt like a teenager. more surprising was that the guy tasted great. it wa clean and a real distinct sweetness in his hole. it was clean, with no scent, not even the manly muskiness. i could have eaten it for days.

than i started to straddle August, this what everyone was waiting for. i sat on August and i started to ride him. After awhile, i felt Clark climbng onto the bed as well, and positioned me for a double fuck. With August's size, it took a while before Clark got in and get his rhythm. It was a double fuck sandwich with Clark on top, me in the middle and August below. i tried to dirty talk August and see how he would react, but he just kept saying yes and kept quiet.

After a few more times of double fucking, everybody was ready to shoot their loads. Clark and Henry came first, then August positioned himself to cum on my body. but unfortunately he missed, he came with so much force that he over shot and came on my face.

The real surprise happened when we started talking. Everbody thought August was your basic youngish out-of-college 20 year old. After all, he looked the part, jeans, shirt, the youngish face. then he blurted he was 40 years old--with 4 kids! he certainly didnt look like he was married nor a dad, nor 40.

Cant help but admire him and think if i could get waya with looking young at his age. then again, ive always had problems with looking young--at work, and dealing with peers, etc. maybe i should just go for age appropriate looks.

it's the moment of....whadamadapakinsyet?!

chanced upon Oprah on the Hallmark channel today, and today's episode was about the controversial "A New Earth" book. It got controversial because several groups thought that Oprah was espousing, if not building her own religion (well, think about it, the Church of Oprah actually sounds nice--you've got makeovers, book clubs, and free gifts under the church pews!!) She was actually very careful to emphasize that this wasnt a new religion but merely a mindset, a paradigm.

The New Earth philosophy was that one has to be in the moment, to truly understad what is in the present and only that. no thoughts of what the past was or what the future will be. there is even no 'doing this today to get something for tomorrow' thought. the now is simply the now.

I generally get into this thought at times when i realize im really out of bullets to hit the world with, but its more out of resignation and acceptance than anythng else. but it's true what they had said about it. it releases a lot of tension and anxiety. simply because there is nothing but the very moment. although sometimes, life can bring you things that are too in the moment, in your face.

moment 1:
was at the mall with hubby. this was our date night, so we were particularly sweet and nice. we would even check out other guys. and then there was this guy and his friend who kept looking and making eye contact with me. and they would even follow us and stare. Now, i'm not exactly the most loyal partner, hell my name would definitely be at the bottom of the list, but for cryin' out loud! even i would not dare do anything when hubby's around. besides, it's our night--its US, thats why we ogle the men TOGETHER. as other men can attest, youll have your time and way with me, but not on hubby's watch.

moment 2:
at the gym sauna. admittedly, i was hoping (take note, HOPING, not looking) for action. and by the looks of the guys at the sauna, shower and/or dressing room, the gay church isnt answering prayers as of the moment. so there was i in the sauna with two other guys. and then he came in....a chubby guy who was pretty wanting (not looking, but WANTING) action. now, generally, i dont really care, and i just look away when someone not my type is wanting attention; and i truly, deeply respect their cravings for meat--but this guy was something. he was chubby, and not in a cute way. he had folds of fat in his belly. he had a flat chest that you could tell had man-boobs before. the clincher: he was doing his best impression of 'fat bastard' from 'austin powers.' he was rubbing his body all over, fidgetting with his towel, touching his privates--anything to get some chublovin. now, before i get hate mail from chubby men and their lovers, i dont mean to offend chubs--hell i was once a chub, and is genetically predisposed to be one--but when one acts like a fat bastard, then you should expect to be treated like fat bastard. and thus ended all hope for any action that night.


the other thing that Oprah keeps on pointing out on the program is that the New Earth Philosophy only clicks when you are ready for it. otherwise, it wil just sound like a New Age gibberish--how's that for a waiver?

generally, i admit ive felt a lot of stress release when i begin to be in the moment. there's truth when she says that anxiety doesn't exist when you live, and live only in the moment--no blames and guilt from the past, nor anxieties or insecurities from the future, not even thoughts of "the present dictating the future.' it calms me and strips me of my ego and just lets me do my best. because at that moment, that's all there is of me--my best.

there is something so eloquent about what life tells you when only the NOW exist. it's a pristine, calm and clean statement of who you are. then again, with moments ive just had, life acn belt out a mean and jologs expletive as well.

Spacewarp

in college humanities, we were taught that Pinoys generally "suffer" from "horror vacui" or the fear of empty space. Jeepneys, fiesta buntings, and even food presentation was about filling it to the brim. I cant remember if this was explained to us why this is so or not, although I remember that I had questions to its origins, given that Spanish design loved open spaces--why the complete turnaround.

Personally, I love empty spaces. I love the tranquility that resonates with it. i love its beingness. It's nothing but itself. On the flipside of the coin, my life seems to be filled to the brim. but lately i've been thinking that maybe i'm just too lazy to organize and prioritize.

a few months back as i was lurking on that site, someone messaged me. and of course the messages tended to show the way to bed. it took awhile before we met, but meet we did. We met at his place, a well-designed one; the space was small but designed with balance to form and function. We went to his bed, and the same aesthetic sense was evident, the right mix of style and substance. the design sensibility was that of someone who loved the classics but had the right openness to the future. it was modern yet elegant. his sexual taste, however was something else.

As we got to work in bed, I was kinda worried if his design taste (classic) would translate to sex; and if we did get to the romp, would i hit the lamps?or any of his stuff. I couldn't be more wrong. i thought he would be a stiff Oxford-type guy but he wasnt. for some guys, kissing is the most awkward part of sex; kissing for some is sacred and reserved for the loved one; for some it's just simply off limits. this guy was all-out, he kissed good, he kissed hard..he kissed liked he meant it. as we get off our shirts, his hands found their way all over my body, caressing and touching me, at times grasping my arms and stroking my body with the right pressure. his fingers traced my body, treading the old and beaten, as well as searching for new paths.

when my partner exhibits this kind of passion, i cant help but get into this kind of passion as well. as the kissing broke off, my lips found their way to his neck, kissing and nibbling on the flesh between his neck and shoulders. gently sucking on his collarbone. My mouth found its way to his nipples, and i chewed on them and circling it with my tongue. my hands were all over him as well, fiddling with every inch of skin, and finally found his cock. I opened his pants and soon i was down on him. He was above average, at times even making me gag. I savored his manhood, his scent and his taste--clean and fresh. as the moment intensified i asked him to lay down so i can go even farther. I lifted his legs and my tongue sought his hole. I licked his cheeks and evne gently biting them. I opened them and kissed his hole, gently blowing into it. i licked the rim of it, teasing the hole with each flick f the tongue. when he and i could take it any longer, i gently pushed my tongue in his hole, tasting the clean salty manliness. I buried my face even deepr into his hole, making sure i dont miss any spot. I even genntly chewed on his skin.

He eventually got me to lay down on the bed, so he could fuck me. Maybe it was the passion, the attraction but the classicism he had exhibited in his place was juxtaposed with his roughness in bed. the genteel nature of his space was the perfect contrast to his primal appetite. He was gentle as he slid his cock inside me, bt as soon as he got the pace going, he was pounding me hard, putting his full weight with every thrust. From the basic missionary, he told me he wanted to go doggy. How can I refuse? I was on the bed as he stood up and his cock pointed the way to ecstasy. I guided him as he went in. He started the pace, and I moaned, and asked him to go faster and harder. He held my by the shoulders as he pummeled his cock deep in my ass. He then leaned forward to kiss me. and that's one of my fave things--kissing while doing doggy.

We canged position so we were face to face, while i sat on his cock. nturally this position leads to more passionate kisses. as he pushed inside, i pushed my tongue inside his mouth, exploring evry crevice. i sucked on his tongue and even nibbled on his lower lips. Finally we did a full circle and went back to missionary. his momentum slowly grew and i could tell he was close to cumming. his orgasm roked his whole body. We were spent.

Admittedly I generally expect that the door is shown after sex. im not exactly the aftersex type. but he started talking, stuff that i found interesting as well. he offered coffee and i accepted. i learned he was a physics professor. In high school, i hated physics, biology and chemistry was ok-even had interestng moments but physics? yet he was able to make it sound like it was the most fun subject. He talked of space and the right use of it. and this went on for us to talk about a whole load of other subjects. the sex turned out to be the foreplay...

it was 3am. he asked me if i could spend the rest of the night with him. i couldnt.

if i could, i would.

i left his place, admiring the space and how good it looked. i wondered if my space could have that. then again, i realized i would be losing too much to have it. things that made me who i am, things that i truly love..my space's pretty filled for another of my wants.

**image from momoy.com

what say you

Have you ever asked your parents why they gave you the name that you have? Do you think your name fits you? Or even when you create nicknames for yourself, for internet accounts, how do you coem up with them? do you feel it out if it fits?

to some degree, names are man's first world pressure. Parents come up with names that come from great men and women thinking that their kid would live up to the man who also had the name. barely a month old, and your mom names you Jesus--you know you'll never outshine him right? or what if you were named Juan--are you common or will you stand up for the common folk?

Recently, i chatted with Mcvie, and it started off with me talking about my writing style. should i write it in English or Filipino? Mcvie tells me to write in English, to titillate more readers. If so, then how do I write things when people get verbal? Should i give direct translations stuff?

the conversation gets tricky and funny. for instance, there's no direct translation for "putangina mo" (your mother is a whore) which is a very common term used during coitus.

or what if some one tells you "ang sarap ng pwet mo!" do you directly translate it to "your ass is delicious!"?

or the mcvie favorite "buntisin mo 'ko" which literally means "impregnate me"

words have such power that the whole mood and tone can change when done in another language. Mcvie and I agree that the best thing to do is to write them verbatim but with translations that are appropriate to the meaning of the spoken words.

"Putangina" then becomes "fuckin' hot!"

"ang sarap ng pwet mo" becomes "fuckin' hot ass!"

and "buntisin mo ko" is "fuckin breed that hole"

note that the word has fuckin' (not fucking which means a more serious fuck as opposed to fuckin' which is a fuck for lust's sake) has to be present at all times.

all that fuckin talk actually got me thinking and made me ask myself,

"what's the kinkiest thing said to you?"

honestly, ive kinda heard them all but making the list has to be

"ilan na ba kumantot sa 'yo? tangina, sarap kasi ng pwet mo kaya andaming gusto kumantot sa yo" (fuckin' slut! you like it when they line up to fuckin' use your hole?)

all this while he was pounding me.

now it's your turn. tell me whats been said to you.

"what's the kinkiest thing said to you?"

the thing is, kink doesn't have to be perverse. it's the words that get you dirty. it's the words that turn your mind into a kink hole. the words may be rich, or simple, jologs or even succinct, but if it turns on your fire, then it's appropriate. what comes out of the mouth can sometimes be more perverse than what goes in.

true that sticks and stones will never hurt you, words can certainly bring you to heaven.

DUMB AND DUMBER

there are some words in the english dictionary that shouldnt have been considered. can you imagine what life would be without the words "fat", "thin", "black", "white", "success", "failure" ,"ugly" (come to think of it, let's keep ugly) wouldnt life be so much more happier? i know it's simplistic but maybe, just maybe, if we didnt have words to call out what's different. we wouldn't know any better, but neither would we know what's to be so sad about.

At the sauna of the other branch of my gym, I saw one guy who I know frequents the main branch as well. I've seen him crusing there and he was worth cruising as well. so there we were, at the sauna, with the awkwardness of "are we going to do it?" hanging over our heads. And so to break the ice, he starts to speak.

"oh, you also come here"

I go, "yeah, closer to home. the main's closer to work though"


"ah yeah."

a few more words come out of our mouths, when he should have been stuffing mine with his cock. sigh.

"so where do you work?"

I answer the nature of my work.

he goes "ah so you work for (different company)?"

I go, "nope, pero marami naman dun taga-(industry)"

and then "are you a (work title)?"

I nod with a "yup"

and here's where the situation gets screwed instead of me "my boyfriend is also a (work title)"

and my mind suddenly went "oh shit! he thinks i know his bf!"

and more talk about his relationship.

and i had to add my two cents from my relationship.

and the cruise ended.

if you think about it, the world's problems has been caused by too much knowledge. discrimination comes from knowing that black is different from white. insecurites come from knowing that you're not thin. sure, a lot of problems have also been solved by knowledge; but for the most part it's knowing that it's pain that really allows you to feel it.

i guess it's true what they say, ignorance is bliss...and gets you laid.

**image from gettyimages.com

"mahal"

I think it's a bit funny that the Filipino word for "the beloved" and "expensive" are the same. Filipinos use "mahal" for both, in exactly the same pronunciation and intonations. I think it's etymology is worth a look into, in the sense that have we as a people always equated money and expense with love. that much should be given to expect much as well. Are we an expense-focused people? whatever happened to Hallmark cards?

then again, these days, showing the beloved just how much you care can well, take much. A movie date would set you back P500, and that's being frugal. even if you take it to the extreme, even flowers from your garden would still mean you taking time to make the flowers bloom; just so you can have something to give the beloved. Money is good but love accepts plastic and other forms of expense, thank you very much.

Last weekend, I was looking for stuff in a home store. I actually liked looking through the store since they had a lot of stuff at dirt cheap prices and well SM doesnt always carry these things. As I was walking through the aisles, I had to kinda squeeze myself into the tight space by saying "excuse me" to the guy who was looking for something as well. the guy looked up to me and there was eye contact.

He was cute in a daddy way so i had to look at him again. I looked back and he was looking at me. And we have a winner!

yet i REALLY wanted to confirm, so i dd more looking at him and he played the im looking at you too game. then the interesting part came.

some lady at the other end of the aisle was looking through some other items, she was speaking a bit outloud. At first I didn't really pay attention to it. then she approached the guy and said

"di ba kailangan na natin 'to, mahal?"

two things to close this post:

1) there i was at a home bargain store, looking for a great deal. hmmm.....

2) she called him "mahal" because he was her beloved. yet he was in a relationship with a secret to boot; and here he was looking at me, as i looked back at him. does he love the girl? does the girl know? is he in it for love as well or merely to project what society had asked at the expense of his own truth. just how he used the word "mahal", i don't know

**image form gettyimages.com