Coming out... the first topic for theorgy
for manila raunch, coming out was pretty easy. he didnt have that much trouble from his family or himself in really understanding what was happening. sure there was the identity question and the label issue, but thankfully, he got over the drama fast and just accepted who he was.
now, coming out as someone who dabbles in all things raunchy is a different story.
especially before manila raunch found his hubby, dating and getting to know can be quite a problem.
life as a raunch purveyor can be a double-edged sword.
on one-hand, it's great for one night stands and play sessions. if i charged everytime someone would tell me that it was the first time they had experienced that, i could probably quit my dayjob.
it's also great once you find fellow raunch enthusisasts. the conversations flow easily, inhibitions are dropped and everything just mellows out, contrary to what people think (that all we talk about is how to get hot, dirty sex)
but once you're dating or interested in dating, then BAM! life hits your right in the kisser.
vanilla people, once they find out youre into raunch easily puts you into a box of either:
a) psycho person--as if only the demented can like getting pissed on.
b) player--if you're into raunch and good at it, they automatically think you play around and thus not worth dating--regardless if he called you soulmate over dessert; once he sees the whip, you're just one sick playing freak.
c) person who'll give them an STI--see letter b. interpolate.
finding a good man who can understand, tolerate or better yet join in on the raunch fun is quite a difficult task. then there's the matter of finding if your kinks match (what if you're both masters or slaves?)
i wish i had better advice to people who like raunch as to whether to come out with their desires or keep it hidden. personally, even i play it by ear. if you're dating, i suggest you hide the harness till oh, say the first year. keep it slow and let your partner's own boredom with vanilla ( and believe me, he will get bored) be your cue to bring out the harness.
or talk to your partner about it-and do it discreetly. let's face it, if your partner's a true blue vanilla lover, he aint gonna go lookin for some chocolate...ever! so best that you lay down your cards and tell him that while you love him and only want him to spend your life with. you still need that fresh from the tap golden shower every now and then. he'll probably scream, be disgusted, think of breaking up with you...but if he's truly your man, he's accept you---both your clean and dirty side. after all, isnt coming out about acceptance in the first place?
