LOVE YOUR OWN

My first experience watching porn was watching a straight prn film, of course back then, internet was just a buzzword and even dial-up was a luxury so the most available stuff would be straight porn. a few more years and i discovered gay porn and that just spelled heaven for me. eventually, as the internet grew, broadband came to being and torrents became a staple, my taste for porn grew by leapd and bounds. my palate has learned to discriminate the fine line between czech twink bareback versus daddy piggy bareback. ive learned what goes best with a chugfull of watersports film and even discovered that while im no fan of boxing, fists and punching are things that i can enjoy as well.

For the last decade or so, ive stopped watching straight porn becausei felt it was oo paid, too boring and well too straight. but if you think the freaky stuff only happens in gay porn, you're in for a ride. recently i discovered devil's films, a nasty porn company that specializes in the more, hmmm...let's just say more peculiar taste in porn.

Devil's film has a line called Creampie for the Straight Guy. A series of films where the movie start out pretty much like any other regular straight porn film. girl plays with herself, guy comes in, they fuck bare-missionary, doggie, side, uside down--name it, they've probably done it. thne comes the cumshot. most straight porn would have the guy shoot on the girl's face or breasts and then the girl would pretend to enjoy masssaging the man cream onto her--this one is different. the guy pulls out, jacks it off, and when he's about to cum, he pushes it back in and shoots inside. now for most porn, this is a bit of a no-no. the cum shot IS the money shot and you want to see that stream of jizz. But it gets better, with the girl's hole now full of jizz, the guy goes down on her freshly fucked and just fillled pussy and laps it up. yup the guys get to have a taste of their own milk. now that can send me to the edge.

the guys are probably bisexuals who enjoy both cum and women, but for purposes of the film, it's quite a new thing to see a "straight guy" going down to enjoy the fruits of his labor. when the reality of life is that while men are eager to see a girl take their load in theface or mouth, they'd have problems even just touching their juice, let alone taste it.

while the fucking and sucking parts are some parts of the film i dont really care for (even by straight porn standards, the sex is boring) the cum shots and what happens next can be quite an explosive ending.

screen grabs from Cream Pie for the Straight Guy:

THE BOOK OF RAUNCH

"don't judge my brother...he's not a book!"
--Melanie Marquez on the defunct show Debate with Mare at Pare

I thought i has gotten over this but i guess not.
As a protective measure, Ive compartmentalized my life into several boxes: work, family, straight friends, gay friends, and of course the buddies. by keeping each one clear cut from the other i easily know how to act and react for each set; and more importantly, i know just how much to give to each set and just how far do i let them in in my life.


of course the problem with this set-up is that at some point, the boxes open to one another and lines get crossed. lately, ive muddled the lines up and of course it has created problems for me. what bothers me the most is that people tend to judge me according to what they have known about me and think that's all there is to it. lately, a lot of guys have made comments or acted as if they knew the totality of me when all they've seen is a cover, and a cover that's primarily made for them--something that was meant for them to get their attention.

my initial take is to try and control things and to create more boxes just so everything's in place. then again, maybe i should just let this play out--who knows maybe a new chapter is about to begin

CURTAIN CALL

I recently met up with a guy whom ive met over planet romeo. Of course, meet-ups through that usually is just a euphemism for sex; still my standing rule is that we meet first and check each other out before actually deciding to go horizontal--under the guise of finding chemistry, it allows for both parties to make a hasty but decent exit should expectations fall short. most of the time it also is a good way to at least put some semblance of a personality to the one i'm going to suck.

it also puts a personality to me--and that can lead to trouble.

let's call him Adam.
Adam was the typical 35-40ish gay guy, cute, a bit on the stocky side, with some flair, intelligent, independent, has a good opinion on things, and has his share of baggage. we met at a bar in quezon city. we talked and after the first feeble attempts at making a connection, things were gaining traction. he would talk about his life, his travels, his meet-ups, his views on life and being gay in the city--i was pretty much doing the listening part, which was perfectly fine with me.

i gave the mandatory talk about myself--my work, my daily routine, and my meet-ups which of course had me clearing things up that i was in this usually for the play; but friendships are always open. the one thing i cant offer is a relationship (as i was already in one)

halfway through a bottle of San Mig light, Adam said something that gave him a different color. in my eyes, suddenly here was a man who was deeper, had shades of gray, and not exactly as cheery as he first presented himself. that's when things got interesting.


amidst his flirtatious one-liners, i would listen to him and try find out a bit more of Adam. the night progressed and here was I suddenly losing my grip on my defenses. i usually get into meet-ups with a wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am attitude, but this time, at the back of my head i was ok with just listening to Adam--the sex would just be a bonus. i had totally forgotten of why i was there, the role i was given, or more aptly, i didnt care.

As we finished a bucket of beer, buzz was already brewing, he starts flirting, i respond. then he leans in for a kiss, i meet him and give him a soft kiss--a kiss reserved when my defenses are down. and then he goes "kaso player ka eh--you're a sexual predator"

W...T...F?!?!

i back off and start to compose myself. in my head this was a done night. I didnt know how to react. had i been in let's fuck mode, i would have given a flirty comeback line ("well, it seems i made a catch then") but i had forgotten my role. I managed a flimsy "ah..ok" before taking a face-saving sip from nearly empty bottle of beer. we start talking again , but i was already out of it. went home dejected and confused.

i didnt exactly know what to feel at the onset of his words. honored that i was seen as this guy who could easily take down anybody i want? hurt? proud? rejected? cocky?
i knew i had cleared things up that i was a player--and while his words hurt, i see the truth in it. the thing that bothered me was that his words were full of judgement. i couldnt be because i was a player. a predator and by my nature i would be out to get him. what hurt was that i wasnt given a chance to be a person, to show him that there was more to me than being a player. all of myself didnt matter because i was a player.

for the next couple of days, the thought bothered me. after talking it over with a friend, i realized that my fault was that i had lost the objective of that meeting. Adam didnt want to see a person, he wanted to see a guy ready for action. At some point i gave up on that and wanted to be a person in Adam's eyes. it wasn't the place nor the time to be a person. Adam messaged a headless, half-naked guy over a gay networking site, i failed to play that role.

now i understand what a "friend' had told me over a party. we had just finished making out and we were on the way to being friends. but he tells me "it's hard to put you in the friend zone, because that would mean losing the sex. i love making out with you and bringing you over to the friend zone can mean knowing stuff and bursting bubbles."

i had resolved since last year to be explore my social side, be more friendly, and do more friend-stuff; but the sex always seem to get in the way.

after all this, i have to accept that there's a role i'm expected to play. it doesnt mean i am all but nothing but that role, but that is what the (gay) world expects to see. if a few ones come in to look for more, then i'd be grateful, but i cant take it against people like Adam for expecting to see the half-naked predator at a hunt.

Intermission's over. curtain's up, Manila Raunch. the audience is waiting.

RIBBON

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LESS TALK...

It's not unusual for me to receive flak whe it comes to my views regarding sex. Of course there will alwys be those who prefer the get to know you, the talk that leads to the sex...but sometimes it just doesnt work.

Today, at the gym, i met a gym mate who was also a past encounter. the encounter was, as usual, technically anonymous--we dont know each other, we dont talk, we just share gym space and we suck each other off. this time however, i tried to be a bit friendly. while we were both getting ready for gym, i tell him that he has lost some weight; and that when it happened. I should have kept my mouth sht, i should have respected the code of anonymous sex, but no. to my feeble attempt at small talk he answers how he has avery good metabolism and how he's in control of his body and basically a monologue on how good he is at his bod. uhrm....dude you lost weight, i didnt say you were scorching.



of course the correct response would have been to say thanks, be a bit self depracating, then say "well, i have to _____(insert verb here)" and move on. but no, he had to talk about himself.

and now, i have an idea of how he is as a person, and that affects how i think of him as a fuckbud. he wasnt exactly scorching, but he was hot enough to make sauna time fun. and now it's sorta gone...damnit!

and that kiddies is why i prefer anonymous sex.. i wont know you, i cant judge you. but you can fuck me. damn.