SIGN OFF, SPIN OFF

This blog has been a product of dichotomy.

Like most bloggers, I like knowing that I am being read. A big part of the motivation to write is to find out that in some way, youve been able to reach out and affect someone. It has always been a fantasy of mine to be as open and as sociable as miggs of manilagayguy or mcvie of the mcvie show.

However, in the case of this blog, the whole point is to remain anonymous, to be incognito. precisely because of the topics concerned. and let's face it, part of the thrill here is to not know, to get feet barely wet in the world of kink.

lately, that has been a problem. iv recently discovered that the anonymity has been compromised, and it has greatly affected the way i've been thinking about my stories and how to tell them.

and so, unlike mcvie's show that celebrates seasos, mine goes for spin-offs. manila raunch will be off the net. a new blog will definitely take its place, but it will still thrive on anonymity and for the mean time, i intend to keep it that way. no links (yet) just really a chance to be clear and honest with the objective of the blog no matter how tempting the thought of having a reader base is. honest.

wish the new blog luck!

thanks to all who've read and made nice and sleazy and the manila raunch a niche success!

FORMERLY KNOWN AS

Manila's gay world just got a taser moment when the actor formerly known as Rustom Padilla announced he was now known as Bebe Gandanghari.

this was the actor who did action films, got married to another actress, and even endorsed supposedly very male products like beer. People knew him to be this good-looking guy and now, well, we know him as a transvestite.

As a gay guy, i know im supposed to be rooting for him and his choices, but there's something awfully wrong with the picture--is he doing a movie? is this a gimmick.
the guy also said he took up modelling classes abroad--but weren't you already a model even before you joined showbiz? okay, so maybe you took up modelling for women this time, but last i heard transvestites didnt really get a cut of the modelling pie. even transexuals had to lie to get modelling jobs so...?

from where i stand, this seems to be just attention-whoring, and the whole act is dragging (no pun intended) the gay community down. I mean, he isnt exactly uplifting the community, he isnt also adding another dimension to it or bringing out great insights about his coming out, and with some of his pronouncements ("I am a woman"--oh no you're not, with a dick hanging between your legs.) he seems to be uninformed of how to properly address questions when it comes to being gay and making choices (read the advocate)

it's even sadder to note that the public has looked at him as a freak rather than someone who upholds truth and well, beauty. as an officemate oh-so-eloquently stated: "bakla na nga, binakla pa nya sarili nya." it's clear he didnt face the public as bebe to promote being honest to one's self...what he's out to promote, well we'd just have wait and see.

personally, if this was attention-whoring, i think he woud have been better off doing porn in the US. hell, we need more Asians in that field, and the old Rustom would certainly be a hot sight to see as a bottom in Falcon or HotHouse movie. (and y'all can see it in your minds, admit it hehehe)

PROFILE POINTERS

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MR 09

2008 wasnt exactly a banner year for me. in fact, it was tumultuous, but in the end it was an important transition year. good changes have taken place by year-end and the shit that i had to go through was simply a way of transitioning.

speaking of transitioning, sex hasn't exactly been a big part of my 08 life. yes, is till had encounters but very few were worth blogging, very few made the cut of mind-blowing sex, which made me think if the blog has reached its prime.

the first few days of 09, i was contemplating if i had to change blogs, since there was very little raunch going on. i knew that the (few and silent) readers of the blog come to get their vicarious thrill. the blog is projection of readers' inner slut (and yes we all have our inner sluts; sitting comfortably next to our inner nuns)

in a word, the blog was a circus. people come in to see waht's different, the seemingly impossible, and even the taboo. and yes, some people will always react as if they've seen freaks. some will think it's funny, some will be in a thrill, like seeing trapeze acts high in the air; and some will be in awe and ask "how does he do that?". but sometimes the highwire acts will seem too grounded, the trapeze too safe, the clowns to tired, and the freaks too normal.

I thought of changing the blog to be more encompassing, to tackle more subjects, to be more about life than just sex. changing the blog also meant a lot of work. coming up with a new name, new design, new everything. it also meant informing the regular readers and those who link to me about it. Generally it will take too much thinking, too much feeling, too much work--too much everything. More importantly, even if I did change the blog, I would still have to contend myself as to what the blog would be. Everything about life would be too broad, too general and ultimately unfocused.

in the end, i just had to go back to what the blog was already about. it wasnt about the sex, because everyone does it. the reason readers read the blog was about the risks, the thrill, the uncommon.

I realized the blog didnt really need a big change, it simply had to transition into a blog that has a bigger scope, a bigger view and perspective but always coming from someone who understands and takes risks and enjoys changes, and revels in the uncommon and often taboo.

and so, welcome to the ManilaRaunch 09.
there will be more topics, not just sex; more places to see; more insights to ponder; and more people to watch--what will not change, but actually will be more pronounced, is that this blog is a circus. despite the broader range, it will still aim to provoke you with the uncommon, the unsaid, the unheard, the ofetn taboo and of course, raunchy.

come one, come all.

**image from corbis.com

ARETHA

Middle children, they say, are great peacemakers. After all, since they are in the middle of the sibling ladder, they become the easiest conduit between the firstborn and the "bunso." It's not a role of their choice, it's something that falls on their lap; along with the word compromise.

This role of being a liaison officer and peacemaker between siblings means trying to solve problems, giving in to tantrums, and being happy when everyone's happy. The thing is, it also means that middle children learn to eat half of their happiness and pride. there are times however when self-worth and pride is just something a middle child finds hard to put in his mouth...among other things.

After a particularly hard training day at the gym, I was just too pooped to even think of sex. So after having a shower, I wanted to get to the sauna to loosen up some tired, aching muscles. but when I opened the sauna door, a slight commotion ensued. three guys fixed themselves, while the other one just watched. In a split moment, I had to make a decision: do i get out and let them have their way or do i stay? I took a glance at the participants and realized that the three guys who were actually in on the action, were guys I've had before. And in that brief second, I decided to stay.

When the guys realized that they could continue in on their fun, they did just that. I was even invited to join, but somehow i was too far from their reach; besides i wasn't exactly too eager to join them. so i just decided to be a good samaritan and stood guard as they finished themselves. I stood by the door and watched if there was someone coming. In a few minutes, one guy finished, then the second one followed. the third guy was left with a hard-on.

this is where it gets interesting. third guy soon focuses his attention to me. after a few tentative motions, we were both stroking ourselves. I approached him and started to stoke his shaft. Then he tells me to suck him. Now, generally Im an obedient boy; but this time I didn't feel like being submissive. Something kicked in my head. This was the guy who minutes ago was sucking another guy, playing the cock-sucking-submissive role; and now he's asking me to take his role. Sorry but this was just a really hard day for me. I thought to myself, hell, shouldn't you suck me first before asking me to go down on you? Damn, I deserve to be sucked!

and so I feigned that i had some tooth thing going on and couldn't possibly sing his song.

I jacked him off until someone came and we had to stop in the middle of the action. I decided time was up and I had to go. Normally, I would have been on my knees in an instant. But my ego somehow managed to rear its head before I gave head. somehow, i felt that if this guy gave the other guy head, shouldn't I get one too? in the politics of sauna and sex, where anonymous eye-movements qualify for interpersonal relationship, don't I deserve what was given to one man? I admit that sauna politics is greatly affected by looks, but heck, I look as good or even better as the guy who finished. I looked more buffed and generally better. i know that deserved that head.

I'm usually the type who goes for win-win situations. I've learned to compromise, swallow my pride and even pulled a few points out of the way i look at myself to get to resolution that's good for all. there are just those times when the situation is just too hard to swallow. 

Let him find a new cocksucker.

**image from gettyimages.com