BIG and BOLD

i think im beginning to be too big and muscular.

last night, my friend invited me to go out--with a very clear objective: flirt like hell.

so i wore my sleeveless, hooded top and jeans and rubber shoes--precisely to show off my shoulders and arms and had the zipper closure opened quite low to give them a peek of them girls hehehe

well, i did get a few stares, but no one dared to come up and introduce himself. bummer.

you'd say just how exactly did that translate to me being too muscular?

ok here's the clincher, one particular gay (effem) guy kept on smiling and staring. of course i looked away. at a different time, me and my friend were standing on the dance floor, trying to ogle the go-go boys. gay, effem guy comes along and tries to move from one end of the dance floor to the other. as he passed by us, he tried to grope my friend. of course, friend shoved his hand away.

after that incident, friend asks me:

"i thought he wanted you, he was looking at you ever since we got here, so WTF was that?"

then he takes a look at me and goes:

"ok with those guns, i bet he thought you're going to punch his lights out."

oookaaayy, im never violent that way. but that got me thinking that maybe i look too big for flirting purposes.

which now brings me to another question: where the hell are the muscleworshippers?

CURSE

just got told by three different guys that they dont exactly cherish the idea of being friends with me because they might fall for me.

was there a brush-off memo i didnt get? it seems odd that three guys would use the same line. stroking my ego, i'd like to think it was more true than a brush-off; that maybe i am too much f a heart risk; that its tough to put me under the category of 'just friends'

on the other hand how bad am i that i get brushed off over an offer of friendship.

in any case, im on the losing end. these are guys who are truly tuly wonderful men and would really love to enjoy their company and spending time with them. and here i am, seemingly cursed of being relationship-worthy but not friendship-material.

'tang inang hotness to! hehehe

image from:http://antiques.star.md/page/20/

CATTLE CALL

this week, i just realized i can never be a vegetarian

after messaging for quite some time over another site. ive finally decided to meet this couple.
honestly, it took me some time to meet them because i was having insecurity issues. the dudes were very good looking guys.their pics showed them as buffed gym guys--the kind who'd have six packs and more.

when i got to meet them, they certainly didnt disappoint. they looked very good, but the six packs werent there. i suppose they were off peak in their gym training--but still the size, mass and muscles were there. man this wasn't a booty call; this was a cattle call! the guys were all beef! and i dont mean the lean, dry piece of crap that dieters professes to be good beef. nope, this was beef that the very sight could induce a heart attack--they had fat but in the right places and you know it just oozed flavor) this was steak on a hot iron plate--as cowboys would have wanted.




let's call them King and Woody. We started right away, Woody had me suck King on the spot. King had a big one, about 7 inches and it was thick, i had trouble sucking it down to the base. while i was sucking King, King reached out to suck Woody. now that was something, seeing a beefy, bigcocked guy suck someone--it was almost straight out of porn. then Woody changed gears and positioned himself to fuck me.he wasnt a big as Kng but still he could fuck.

the highlight strted to happen when King stood up to fuck me. frankly, i was a bit hesitant if i could take his cock, but with enough lube, the ride went smoothly. as King was fuckng me doggy style, i positioned my hand behind my back and quickly he got the drift. he held my hands and controlled the pace.

we were in that position when Woody asks if we could try goig double. i said we could try,a s i didnt know if i could take both of them. woody layed on his back while i sat on him and positioned myself so King could enter me as well. man did it hurt! but it was the kid of hurt that could only lead to the good stuff, once he was in, the ride just kept getting better.

as we went double, woody came and finsihed. King continued to fuck my hole for a few more moments. after awhile i think he got tired of fucking me and asekd if i could just suck him. i obliged but as i was sucking him. a better idea went off my head. i dove in to his hole and ate him out. he tasted nice, just the right mix of clean but still manly. i couldnt have enough of his hole so i asked him to squat on my face so i could gain full access to his hole. i sucked, licked, and ate him out tll he came.

i hope there's a part 2 to this story because, despte the very hot sex, i think it could have been better. I personally think that the timing was off plus the fact that i didnt know how far to take it, with them being a couple. i think we could have made it a whole lotta hottah if things were clearer. the fucking positions and style could have been varied and the group interaction could have been worked out more. then again, ith this kind of man-sex that doesnt come my way often, i dont think i have the right to have a beef

**images from ragingstallion.com and sxvideo.com

PLAYER

if there's something life is really good at, it's at throwing you a curve ball.

im open with my life. peole know that im attached and yet i still go out and play. partner doesnt like it but i still do it. im a player, but im honest about being one. if you're looking a serious thing, i should be on your list--just about next to Osama bin Laden. so why is it that several good--no, make that great men--are on my door? all willing to play second fiddle in my life.

part of me is bragging, after all these are not ordinary men, most of them have made names for themselves and quite lookers. but part of me is also feeling confused but at the same time ridiculously blessed to have met and gotten to know these guys. maybe ive sold myself short all this time. maybe im worth the trouble--especially since when there are a number of good single guys out thre and yet, they're willing to be...well...kabit. maybe there's more to this player

Gym shorts

***
funny how one piece of clothing can change how one projects one's self. my hair has been gotten to bieber-esque lengths and has made it quite uncomfortable to do the bieber headshake while lifting weights. so i started wearing a cap. have since gotten comments that i look more boy-next-door, more straight than usual. has it translated to more action? nope..but i like that ive gotten the new comments, almost like a fresh new take on me.

***
funny how you think you're invisible then realize everybody can see you. while i was doing my sets with my trainer, he starts to talk to another guy from afar. he shouts out--"nag-beach" and points to me. i finished my set and asked who that was. he points out to King, one of the gayest, loudest and friedliest guy in the gym. he can be snooty at times, not to mention bitchy, so i never really tred to be friendly with him or his group (in the words of Kathy Griffin "they can cut you!") i also know that they usually notice the rich, mestizo type guys or the model type guys. so i let it be. but at that moment, it was a surprise that was a blip in their radar. now, i dont think im a major blip--heaven knows there are a lot of more good looking men in the gym, but hey, im quite flattered that i get noticed. major ego boost for me.

***
funny that some things just cant be kept a secret. several of us gay guys and some trainers were joking around, the topic was of course leading towards gay sex. i was keepin it on the DL when bam! Somebody said "tanong mo kay MR, bottom yan eh" of course one of the naive trainers had to ask at a normal re: can be heard by all voice, " MR ano ba yung bottom? sabi ni *** bottom ka daw eh" i could only muster a nervous boisterous laugh. on one hand, t can be a selling factor but still i dont really think its a good idea to announce to the world that i love getting it in the ass

LOVE YOUR OWN

My first experience watching porn was watching a straight prn film, of course back then, internet was just a buzzword and even dial-up was a luxury so the most available stuff would be straight porn. a few more years and i discovered gay porn and that just spelled heaven for me. eventually, as the internet grew, broadband came to being and torrents became a staple, my taste for porn grew by leapd and bounds. my palate has learned to discriminate the fine line between czech twink bareback versus daddy piggy bareback. ive learned what goes best with a chugfull of watersports film and even discovered that while im no fan of boxing, fists and punching are things that i can enjoy as well.

For the last decade or so, ive stopped watching straight porn becausei felt it was oo paid, too boring and well too straight. but if you think the freaky stuff only happens in gay porn, you're in for a ride. recently i discovered devil's films, a nasty porn company that specializes in the more, hmmm...let's just say more peculiar taste in porn.

Devil's film has a line called Creampie for the Straight Guy. A series of films where the movie start out pretty much like any other regular straight porn film. girl plays with herself, guy comes in, they fuck bare-missionary, doggie, side, uside down--name it, they've probably done it. thne comes the cumshot. most straight porn would have the guy shoot on the girl's face or breasts and then the girl would pretend to enjoy masssaging the man cream onto her--this one is different. the guy pulls out, jacks it off, and when he's about to cum, he pushes it back in and shoots inside. now for most porn, this is a bit of a no-no. the cum shot IS the money shot and you want to see that stream of jizz. But it gets better, with the girl's hole now full of jizz, the guy goes down on her freshly fucked and just fillled pussy and laps it up. yup the guys get to have a taste of their own milk. now that can send me to the edge.

the guys are probably bisexuals who enjoy both cum and women, but for purposes of the film, it's quite a new thing to see a "straight guy" going down to enjoy the fruits of his labor. when the reality of life is that while men are eager to see a girl take their load in theface or mouth, they'd have problems even just touching their juice, let alone taste it.

while the fucking and sucking parts are some parts of the film i dont really care for (even by straight porn standards, the sex is boring) the cum shots and what happens next can be quite an explosive ending.

screen grabs from Cream Pie for the Straight Guy:

THE BOOK OF RAUNCH

"don't judge my brother...he's not a book!"
--Melanie Marquez on the defunct show Debate with Mare at Pare

I thought i has gotten over this but i guess not.
As a protective measure, Ive compartmentalized my life into several boxes: work, family, straight friends, gay friends, and of course the buddies. by keeping each one clear cut from the other i easily know how to act and react for each set; and more importantly, i know just how much to give to each set and just how far do i let them in in my life.


of course the problem with this set-up is that at some point, the boxes open to one another and lines get crossed. lately, ive muddled the lines up and of course it has created problems for me. what bothers me the most is that people tend to judge me according to what they have known about me and think that's all there is to it. lately, a lot of guys have made comments or acted as if they knew the totality of me when all they've seen is a cover, and a cover that's primarily made for them--something that was meant for them to get their attention.

my initial take is to try and control things and to create more boxes just so everything's in place. then again, maybe i should just let this play out--who knows maybe a new chapter is about to begin